Hanson Brothers
Biography
Although the Hanson Brothers are often confused with their distant cousins Mssrs. Wright and Holliston from NoMeansNo, the Hansons from Cold Lake, Alberta, have been busting teeth and spraying beer worldwide since 1984. Their albums have routinely shot straight to the top of the Cold Lake radio station's charts and their mum is rumoured to be quite proud of her kin.
The Hanson Brothers are:
Johnny Hanson: Vocals, free agent (pending trial). Born March 28th 1968, Itza Butte, Saskatchewan. 6ft, 190 lbs. He is often confused with John Wright, drummer of NoMeansNo, but there is no connection. Johnny broke into the SOSHL with the Foam Lake Bullies in 1970. He inked his first pro contract with the Attica Lifers in 1973. Led the AOKHL in penalty minutes 4 years running. Suspended indefinitely for shooting pucks into the crowd during warm-up. When not carving his niche on the ice, Johnny's usually inscribing his initials in the bench in the penalty box. An avid sculptor.
Tommy Hanson: Guitars, Kenora Cheeseheads, DUHHL. No one knows when he was born, but he showed up at the rink in 1971. 6ft, 195 lbs. He has never been seen in the same room as Tom Holliston, guitarist for NoMeansNO and Show Business Giants, but we think this is just a coincidence. Tommy was last year's recipient of the Dennis Kearns Trophy for Surliness On and Off The Ice. Past winner of the Minnesota Sport Writers' Award for Testiness. Voted "player most likely to be traded" by team mates. Also noted for repugnant personal odours. However, despite all these things, Tommy's one redeeming feature is that he has never missed a game through injury.
Robbie Hanson: Bass, Fort McLeod Dust-ups, KGBHL. Born February 23rd and then again on March 12th 1962, Offal Springs, Saskatchewan. 5ft, 11 inches, 205 lbs. He is not to be confused with Rob Wright, the famous bassists/vocalist for NoMeansNo, though he does admit the resemblance is remarkable. First player ever penalised for garroting the opposition. Hockey player cum poet; Robbie has recently published the autobiographical tome, "My Career as a Scythe Wielding Psycho". Operates a mink farm off season.
Mike Hanson: Drums. Born in in Douglas, WY, on the date of June 31. Six feet four inches, many many pounds. Former ballet instructor and part-time UFC rassler. Broke into WWHL after showing up to the wrong arena by mistake but showing great promise on skates. Known to weep after scoring a goal. A sensitive soul with a heart of gold, Mikey brings a touch of grace and class into an otherwise festering world of goonies.